In my head I keep hearing the Johnny Lee lyrics made famous in Urban Cowboy: “I was lookin’ for love in all the wrong places.” Does this express your feelings? If so, it is necessary to gain some personal wisdom so you can better control this powerful drive. If looking for love is going to be successful it must be an internal journey before it becomes an external journey. Why? The people you attract and those you are attracted to will change for the better if you love yourself and hold yourself in high esteem. You will avoid a lot of pain and suffering if you have open communication with your heart, hear it and act on it when it whispers to you the first time. If you know and love your True Self you are not likely to try to empress another wearing a fake mask and role playing. You will be less likely to sabotage yourself or act based on fear if you feel comfortable with the person because he or she values you and respects you. If you don’t love yourself first no one or no thing will ever be able to fill that void. You are setting yourself up for pain and suffering if you make your love conditional on the other person first fulfilling your daily needs and expectations. This type of relationship falls apart quickly. If your heart is full of love it will overflow regardless and you will respond with compassion. Your love will not be conditional and you won’t depend upon someone else to make you feel self-confident, secure and loved. A successful relationship grows deep inside your heart as a part of your being. You grow spiritually when your partner acts as a mirror. Your goal is to develop unconditional love. You can channel more love if you ask yourself how love would respond to each experience, moment by moment.