Forgiveness is soul level self love. It is a powerful gift of healing love that you give yourself. In its absence hurt grows into resentment, then hate, then revenge and in the process consumes its host. Friends and family relationships are destroyed because those that hurt us usually are those closest to us. When you love and trust someone you open your heart and become vulnerable. They betrayed your love and trust. Now what are you going to do? Will you listen to your ego or your heart?
Your ego loves power and self justification. It feels in control if you are angry and desire to teach the other person a lesson. The longer you retain the “I was wronged” attitude the more power your ego feels. But in the words of Mark Anthony, “Holding on to anger, resentment and hatred is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” This approach doesn’t work because others don’t change their behavior as a result of you projecting your feelings, values and ideals onto them. They operate based upon self perception and self interest regardless of your feelings. You must have the courage to tell them what you want from the relationship and move on if they are not willing to meet your needs. Even if they want to retain their former relationship with you, you are still left with the feelings of hurt and betrayal. Forgiveness is loving yourself enough to forgive yourself for setting yourself up to be hurt and betrayed. It doesn’t mean that what they did was right; it doesn’t minimize their responsibility; it doesn’t make you their door mat. However, it does free you from the negative energies and harmful neurochemicals of hurt and betrayal and allows you to move on with your life. As you grow, you learn. So accept the lesson and grow toward unconditional love. As James Van Praagh said, “How you treat me is your karma. How I react is mine.”