Have you ever felt unlovable? Have you ever felt there was something about you that made you unlovable? Nearly everyone has. The critical question is was it a passing feeling or a lasting self perception? Thoughts are biochemical events in the brain and have physical consequences. If you are living with a negative self perception you feel trapped inside your thoughts and emotions. Many eventually turn to drugs or alcohol to dull the pain. The good news is that self perception is a learned phenomenon and since it is always changing, can be controlled by you. Some people get their identity from their body, some from their career, some from their family and others from their beliefs. The bad news is that for many their self identity was created in a dysfunctional family resulting in low self-esteem and a poor self concept. When your self identity is challenged or reinforced you feel an emotion. If you feel unloved or unlovable it means you have a need for love that is not being met. The answer lies within not without! You can’t expect love from others if you don’t first love yourself. Other people mirror your inner reality. You don’t perceive them as they are but as you are.
To change your self perception repeat the following steps over several weeks. Remember it took decades for you to develop your negative self perception so don’t expect a 24 hour turn around. To reach any destination you must take one step at a time. 1.) Begin each day with gratitude thanking God for the good things you are and have. Make a list, add to it as you think of new things and post it. 2.) Live in the Now. Release the pain and hurt of the past and break those chains. Offer forgiveness and move on with building your new life. 3.) Everyday do something that makes you feel good. Invest in yourself! Do something you love. Have you tried yoga? 4.) Decide to only spend time with others who nourish you, believe in you and build you up. Stay away from those who drain your energy and reinforce your negative self perception. 5.) Listen to your heart and commit to something that you have been putting off, something that you have always wanted to do. 6.) Practice self love and give yourself 30 minutes of silence, stillness and peace each day in meditation. 7.) Each day say or do something that brings love or joy to another person without expecting anything in return. 8.) Finally, remember that the real You is a spirit and you have a body and mind which you can control. The ego’s self perception, which we have been talking about, is an illusion that changes like the clouds. So have fun and write you own script so you can star in this life movie!