You are what you think. What you focus on is what you attract into your life. Do you want to be happy, peaceful and successful? You live in a world created by your mind. You see reality as you are, not as it actually is. You define reality by the way you define yourself.
The secret to happiness is controlling what you focus on. By focus I mean the thoughts, feelings, emotions and visualizations (internal representations) you allow your mind to make and dwell on. It doesn’t work to focus on what you don’t want, what you fear or what upsets you. If you allow this to occur it will not only make you unhappy but will attract into your life the very things you want to avoid. If you focus on pain, anger and fear your brain will work to intensify them and bring more of them into your life. If your focus on selecting a mate is to avoid an alcoholic like one of your parents you will be attracted to an alcoholic. Your brain is always working to manifest what you focus on. The key is to always focus on what you want and be moving toward it.
It is better yet to expand your focus past your mind and onto your soul. If your focus is only on your mind your map of reality will be limited and you will never discover your true Self. To gain a divine perspective and discover the real You, you must focus on your soul. Meditation is the best method for accomplishing this. In meditation you will learn the universe is guided by intelligence and you can be guided by a force greater than yourself too, if you choose to listen! But regardless, the universe supports your beliefs about yourself be they good or bad. If you focus on failure you will fail. If you focus on success you will succeed.