Victim or Winner?

Life isn’t fair.  It is one problem after another.  But what is important isn’t the problems you face; it’s how you respond!  Do you react or do you respond considering what is the most resourceful response you can make to assure yourself happiness, peace and success?  The key is to increase your awareness so you choose to empower a feeling or behavior!  This is accomplished by becoming a witness, not a judge, of how you feel and respond.  The largest problem is to overcome your old conditioning so you stop salivating each time the bell rings like Pavlov’s dogs.  External events are triggers, not causes, for your responses.  If two guys are walking down a street and both get sprayed with water one fellow might respond with anger while the other with compassion and curiosity.  The water “triggered” the reactions since each man responded differently.  The water “caused” the same wetness to both of them.  Accepting responsibility for your feelings and behavior empowers you!  Playing the victim card gives away your power for attention and pity.  Each time you confront a new problem and play the victim you make it harder to escape from the slick slime pit.  When someone is getting to know you do you “define yourself” as a victim of some health disorder, addiction, childhood abuse, poverty, sexism, discrimination etc. or do you let them find out later that you have a disability or have overcome hardships?  During my 68 years I have witnessed our society attempt to correct many injustices.  More needs done and there are many more injustices and abuses that need addressed.  But in the process our culture popularized victimhood.  When you accept responsibility for how you feel and respond you learn from the problems you face and feel motivated to tackle whatever comes next.  You live in the present moment.  You do not live in the past nor allow yourself to be defined by it.  Oprah said, “Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.”  Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself that frees you from the “wrongs” you have experienced from others, society and your DNA.  You don’t forget and it doesn’t make them right.  But you emerge empowered and the winner!  Keep the higher perspective – you are attending soul school to attain a higher level of consciousness.


Life Coach – Dr. Dean R. McCormick